Maintaining a Sense of Expectancy

Anticipation and expectancy are such ironic concepts in the face of a constant unknown future. We never know what the next day, or even hour, will hold, yet we still anticipate. We anticipate or expect something. And yet when specifically asked about our expectations for the future, most people will articulate a measure of anxiety or fear because of the unknown while expressing feelings of excitement.

This week, the group of us completed N494, the theory course of our final semester of our nursing degree. The rest is all practicum, in a clinical setting of one specialty or another. On Thursday, our instructor Rebecca asked us about what we were excited about, and what we were nervous for.

I realized it was an important exercise and so neat to go back to when you’ve lived through some of the things you were excited for, or nervous about. So I thought I would share with all of you my personal expectations for these next 9 weeks.

What I am excited for:

• Travelling to a little village 4-6 hours north of Accra and spending time with the chief of the village and the nurse who runs the clinic. I can’t wait to just be immersed in all their wisdom and to learn so many things that I probably never expected to.
• The privilege of being a part of health care in a smaller village, partly because I just am a country girl and need space (I’m excited for a rooster’s crow, no less :-)), but also because life in a village is so unique from here in the city and I’m just so excited to experience that. And lastly because my passion for nursing lies with rural communities who do not have the resources that urban dwellers do and developing skills to work around these challenges.
• The opportunity to work in Acute Emergency. Emergency has always been a particular interest and I’m excited to see if that will change or grow into a deeper interest.
• Recognizing that not all health care practices have to be done the way I believe they should be. I’m excited to learn new ways of approaching relationships, of developing professionalism, and navigating communication styles.
• The opportunity to be changed. I’m so excited to have my horizons broadened and my individuality deepened. I want to be a different person.

What I am nervous for:

• The things that will be hard. I know there will be challenges, as there always are in life. I will see things that I will want to fix and I won’t be able to. (I am way too much of a “fixer.”) I will be emotionally affected by things I cannot control. And none of that is easy.
• My insufficiencies as a student nurse. I do not feel adequately prepared for the skills, critical thinking, and responsibilities that I feel I should have. I am still very much a baby nurse, always seeking to tiptoe to see more things, and then tripping over the little bumps on my path.
• Not gaining the full experience. This may seem ridiculous, and it probably is, but I may have a bit of ”fomo” (fear of missing out). I somehow have certain expectations for what the “full experience” is and they are not met, I regret it.

I do think there are probably other things I am both excited and nervous for, but these are a generalized and current list. Something I understand from the analysis of a list like this is that the key thing in all of it is to

Live in the moment.

We can so easily get caught up, and often unknowingly, in our perceived future and forget the present.

So my encouragement for you today is this:

If you are with me in nursing and standing on the brink of your final nursing preceptorship, take some time to jot down what you are excited for and what you are nervous for. It’ll be a neat thing to reflect on once you’re done and graduating!

If you are not in school, you still have expectations and things you are nervous for. Reflect on them and put them in the context of today. In a few months, weeks, or even days, those expectations will look very different than they do today.

And before you think our expectations and anticipations are a negative thing, let me remind you that they are not. They are an unavoidable part of our lives and without them, we would struggle to understand our life. So keep expecting. And anticipating change.